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A Day in the Life of Jeff Republican

In light of the recent spirited political debate we had, I can’t resist posting this (just had it emailed to me this morning by a friend). BTW, I’m not sure who to credit for this, so if it’s yours let me know and I’ll give you the credit you deserve!

Jeff gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance – now Jeff gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Jeff’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Jeff reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Jeff dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation.

Jeff begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Jeff’s employer pays these standards because Jeff’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.

If Jeff is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Jeff needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Jeff’s deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Jeff’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Jeff has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Jeff and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Jeff also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Jeff is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans.

The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Jeff wouldn’t have to.

Jeff gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Jeff enjoys throughout his day.

Jeff agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

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10 comments to A Day in the Life of Jeff Republican

  • [...] A Day in the Life of Jeff Republican In light of the recent spirited political debate we had, I can’t resist posting this (just had it emailed to me this morning by a friend). [...]

  • GJM

    I must say, who ever created that fictitious little story, was very imaginative, well done. He did however forget that the liberals didn’t accomplish all that good stuff by themselves, they had plenty of help from conseraitives. But, the biggest thing that he left out was the part about all the fresh air, and water, and his house, and his place of work, the banks, the subways, and our loved one’s lives that are all destroyed, and wiped off the face of the earth, because those wonderful liberals cut our military budget and stopped our troops from completing there mission of protecting our freedom from those that hate us and want us all dead. Hence, nuclear weapons used against us, and everything else means nothing…………. Wake Up

  • GBM

    Sorry, but I refuse to live in fear. I think we’ll all be just fine. And I also think that the threat of a changing climate is worse than a threat from any other nation, or rogue group of terrorists.

    BTW, I don’t consider myself a “liberal”, just thought that article was entertaining.

  • Scott

    Do liberals work during the day too or do they just post on blogs, facebook, etc.? ;) Just kidding.

    “Sorry, but I refuse to live in fear. I think we’ll all be just fine. And I also think that the threat of a changing climate is worse than a threat from any other nation, or rogue group of terrorists.”

    Bold statement. I’ll have to file that one away to quote back at ya later.

  • GJM

    Gary,

    I wasn’t calling you a liberal, I was referring to the unknown author of that story or anybody else that thinks that way… I’am not living in fear now, but after the election I may have too change my thinking .. lol

  • Mike

    Cute little story.. Only thing i would like to point out is, the liberals get to have the freedom to fight for all these things due to the sacrifices made by others.. It’s what happens when people work together and not against each other.. You can play this same story many different ways to favor one specific kind. Like we all get to wake up each morning free as a bird cause some dirty rotten military man gave his life so we could have ours. ect ect i’m sure you get the point.

    “Sorry, but I refuse to live in fear. I think we’ll all be just fine. And I also think that the threat of a changing climate is worse than a threat from any other nation, or rogue group of terrorists.”

    Not that i don’t believe the climate changing is a bad thing, but at least we have time to fix that. Right now terrorist are once again plotting a way to strike us.. In 9/11 they killed 5 thousand, set our economy in a down word spiral, ruined the lives of hundreds of thousands of families and that was with 3 planes.. Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when they have a nuke or biological weapons? I too choose not to live in fear, but at the same time i also choose not to be so blind as American’s like to be. After 9/11 people would greet others with a kind hello, they would hang the flag everywhere they could and they were just genuinely kind to others. But now that we have all settled back into our lives, we are back to normal now lol.

    About the climate change. I’m not a believer that it’s all man that is doing this. Not saying we are not helping, but it’s not just us. First, the world has always gone through climate changes. That’s how the 1st ice age happened and there was no man on earth then.. So what caused that? Dinosaur farts? :-) Second, science has proven that as the sun ages, it grows larger. And by the time the sun will die out, it will be so large it will either consume the earth, or make it one big burnt pop tart. The sun is getting larger, which means we are getting warmer. (i love the discovery channel) I will say perhaps if we didn’t test a trillion nuclear bombs in Nevada, we would have more of our atmosphere lol. (it’s not really funny)

    Man is not helping matters with all the greenhouse gases. But mother nature is smarter then people think. She will take care of herself. She will make us all extinct if need be. Even the liberals won’t be able to talk her out of it. :-)

  • Scott

    Hey Gary. Thanks. This is indeed eye opening. I had no idea liberals were so great.

    First I’d like to say I am very thankful to those liberals for those Fannie Mae-underwritten sub-prime mortgage loans. It was so compassionate of them to let all those poor people, who couldn’t afford those mortgages, to get them anyways. I think we’ll continue to reap the rewards of this great idea for quite some time.

    I do appreciate that my bacon and eggs are safe and delicious. I’m not sure why I almost died after eating a spinach salad with tomatoes and jalapeno slices on it this last summer, but maybe I just had a touch of something. Who knows.

    As an employer, we have been using the Result Only Work Environment (ROWE : http://www.culturerx.com/) but now I’m not sure if we should be doing this since the liberals haven’t made a law that forces every business to do this yet.

    And I must say I do sleep better at night knowing that my bank deposits are federally insured by the FDIC. I’m sure that even if we all ran to the bank and tried to withdraw our money at the same time, if the banks couldn’t give us our money the government would have no problem at all coming up with it.

    I also want to thank them for the clean air and water. As a conservative I obviously don’t care about either of those things. I prefer to have my air and water more like Russia or China. Oh, wait, those aren’t conservative free market countries. How did that happen?

    Anyways, I do appreciate those safe cars. Goodness knows that would have never happened with just free market competition. Same with those awesome sidewalks in those liberal cities. I’m sure all those people in upstate New York ;) will tell you it’s worth every penny of their extremely high state income and property taxes to pay for those pristine sidewalks and public transportation for all the liberal city folk.

  • Sounds to me like Jeff the Republican just described the perfect “Nanny” state where nobody is responsible to take care of anything for themselves, but the awesome big government will dole out just what we need, just when we need it at no cost to anyone. Wow! What a country!

  • GO McCain!

    The Haircut

    One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill, and the barber replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop.

    When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

    Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

    The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

    Later that day, a McCain supporter comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

    The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there are five McCain supporters washing his windows, sweeping his sidewalk and generally cleaning his shop and the surrounding area.

    Then, an Obama supporter comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies ,’I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The man is very happy and leaves the shop.

    The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Obama supporters lined up waiting for a free haircut.

    And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the McCain and Obama supporters.

    Vote carefully this year.

    “Life’s tough; tougher when you’re stupid.” – John Wayne

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